mymichele's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My Way Today is a good day: someone actually signed my guest book! Well slap my dick and call me horny! The worst thing to ever happen to me ever losing weight: Mcdonald's bagel sandwiches. The Steak, egg, and cheese bagel with Dr. Pepper is sooo hard to resist. I can't imagine how much fat could possibly be in it, but it's just too good.
I felt compelled to go out last night and buy some porn. Hey, it was a full moon. That's what happens. A girl just needs to have some porn sometimes.
So I said I'd tell you the story of the psycho ex. It's kinda embarrasing first of all, because he was actually 2 years younger than me. I met him online, and blah blah blah.. the first date we had, we'd already been going out for 2 weeks. I don't recommend actually going out with someone before you know what they look like. But hey, you live and you learn.
We started going out on Thanksgiving. We did nasty stuff on the first date in the backseat of my mom's car, while she was driving. Our song was "Number 1 crush" by Garbage. All these things should have been signs.
We eventually lost our virginity to each other. I had my first orgasm, via oral sex, in a movie theater during the People Vs. Larry Flynt. After we started having sex, our relationship got more and more abusive. It was mostly verbal, but he'd be violent occasionaly. He threatened to kill himself if I broke up with him. I had a job, working for my dad, and he accused me of actually going to have sex with different people when I said I was going to work. If I talked to anybody of the male persuasion, he'd accuse me of having sex with them. It was totally ridiculous, but I couldn't get out. He said he had taped us having sex and would actually send it to my dad. All these things really make me angry, even now. I don't know if it makes me angry because he did it or because I let him do it. Anyway, he tore me away from my best friend, who still isn't speaking to me 4 years later, and made my parents not trust me. They eventually understood that it wasn't me who was doing it, it was his influence. My mom finally had enough of it on July 4th. She sent me to Austin with my brother for a week, and that was basically the end. I saw him a few times after that, but it was over. He called me a slut after I had another relationship, but he had another girlfriend who I knew was taking the same shit I had.
So I call July 4th my little independence day. I even made up a little thing about the colors of the fireworks: White was the innocense I had right before I met him. Red was the blood I shed after I lost my virginity to him. Blue were the bruises I had that made me want to get away.
I know, it's corny, but it helped me get over stuff.
You never know how you'll react in a situation until it actually happens to you.
I used to hate LImp Biskit, but I really love the song "My Way" "Just one more fight about your leadership, and I will straight up leave your shit, because I've had enough of this, and now I'm pissed... this time I'm gonna let it all out, this time I'm gonna stand up and shout, it's my way, it's my way or the highway!"
Woohoo, good clean fun. 2:13 p.m. - 2001-07-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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