mymichele's Diaryland Diary

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Bitches and ghosts.

I have felt like throwing up for the past hour. For some reason, I felt compelled to go clean out my car at 11:45 PM. That would have been fine, but the dumpster smells like ass. It hasn't been emptied for weeks, and it smells like total fucking ass. I then went to a gas station and continued to clean out my car, but then realized I should probably continue this process tommorow, because it's dark and there can be some seedy characters prowling around. So basically, the whole process of cleaning out my car was pointless.

My boyfriend is at IHOP tonight. I can't help but feel total and complete jealousy. He's had a busy social day and I've just kinda sat on my ass. It's nice to know that I have the option to hang out with friends, but I just went to Borders for 2 hours, worked out, came home and slept, and now I'm playing Yahtzee. This is good times, really, it is. You'd think after 4 years, well, 3 years and 10 months, that I'd be over this by now. I really should work on that.

It's not that I don't like being with friends. But over the last couple of years, I've been alone so much that I really started to value my alone time. So yeah. That's not good sometimes. I need to balance the two worlds, like my boyfriend does.

I have 9 dollars to my name until Wednesday. I'm not well versed in the art of really cheap fast food, so this should be a fun experience. I'm planning to just get a lot of Chicken Sandwiches (without mayo, of course)at Jack in the Box. Any other suggestions?

Things I need to work on hard this week:

1. No breakfast sandwiches, for fuck's sake!

2. I've been working out hard, so I need to eat like I know I should, because that would make my goal easier to accomplish.

What's my goal? That's a good question. I guess it would be to lose 50 pounds by this time next year. My smaller goal would be lose 20 pounds by the end of the year. That sounds right, doesn't it? I have no idea.

3. Can my jealousy issues and stop starting so many fights. My boyfriend has shown that he's here for the long haul, and I just need to get over it. I've been such a bitch the last couple of months, but he's still here, and I'm still a bitch.

I had a scary dream while I was taking a nap today. It was about a ghost who opened my door when I couldn't find my key or something. For about 10 minutes after I woke up, I was seriously scared shitless.

I am playing triple yahtzee, and then I will go to bed. Thanks for your concern.

12:58 a.m. - 2001-07-30

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