mymichele's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tales of the football game and the bible hunt Okay, I just got a google hit for "Porn of the Rings." That's just strange. So my birthday sucked. The plan was to go to the damn football game so BB could live another day in his happy blissful world, and then I'd leave and go to my bible study retreat. I was really looking forward to that because I wanted to bond with all the new people I've just met. I really didn't want to go to the football game. It's the biggest game of the year, and the stadium would be filled to capacity, and it was going to rain anyway. But I went. Because I believe if you want to have a good relationship, compromise is involved. And since he does stuff for me that he doesn't really enjoy, I do the same thing for him. I really wish I didn't go. It was okay at first. But then along came the biggest storm I've ever seen in my life. It was a huge, windy, thunderous storm with hail and wind and crazyness. Even the PA guy, who's usually calm and composed, said "WoW! Here comes the wind!" Now, you'd think that after a storm of this magnitude comes along, people would haul their asses out of there and go home. Well, many did. But many stayed. For an hour and half, while we waited for the rain to stop. For an hour and a half, we stood under the stadium, me seething in miserable agony, he smiling like a jackass because it was so much fun for him. Now, I don't expect the world to stop and celebrate my horribly boring 22nd birthday, but I do expect something. Anything. Maybe breakfast in bed. Or moonlight walk, hand in hand. Maybe a hug and a kiss and a gasp.. perhaps even a card. Did I get any of these things from him? No. We didn't even get it on this weekend. Oh, the humanity. He did give me a present. A notepad. With my name on it, and a picture of my dog in the corner. Which was imaginative. But come on.. a fucking notepad for my birthday? All I wanted him to do during the wait for the football game to start was hold me, tell me that he knew this wasn't that much fun for me, but he'd make it up to me. Or some variation thereof. All I want is an acknowledgement that I'm special, that I'm worth his time, that he cares about me. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of not being appreciated for all the sacrafices I've made for this fucking relationship. I've always had to choose between him and making friends, and he usually wins, and that's really got to stop. I can't do that anymore. He isn't totally the worst boyfriend in the world. He's a very generous person. He looks out for me and makes sure that I'm in line. He gives me emotional support and is pretty much always there when it counts, but he just doesn't do normal boyfriend stuff. I like the fact that he's different, but then again.. I really hate the fact that he's different. It's just a little frustrating. But in other news, my friends totally rock. The retreat wasn't so great, I'm not really sure why, but it was okay. And then I had been home for a little while and I get a call from my friend telling me that she just came by my dorm and saw that I had a boot on my car. So I went down to check it out, and there wasn't a boot, there was a note to come find her at the car wash. So basically, it was like a scavenger hunt, and they paid for dinner for me, and a car wash, and it ended with them giving me a new Bible. That's how all scavenger hunts should end, right? My friends are so cool. Unlike my fucking boyfriend. 2:56 p.m. - October 13, 2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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