mymichele's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Half Nekkid, with links! Hello, fellow humans. I am currently typing half naked because it is REALLY FUCKING HOT! Much to my dismay, Chat is not working tonight. I have some major separation anxiety, let me tell you. This means that I can't talk to such people as Astralfrog or Hijinks. Can you tell I learned how to make links today? Oh yes, I'm the queen of HTML. I am an HTML Goddess! Muahahaha! Speaking of links, go see Michelle because she's awesome and quite an entertaining person. While you're there, sign her guestbook. And while you're here, sign my guestbook. Weight Loss Update! Tonight I did 8 laps around the track. That's TWO miles for all of you at home. I dragged my ass for the last 2 laps or so, but I challenged myself, and I did it. I've been exercising the last week and a half, but I'm not noticing any visible weight loss. I guess I need to be patient, but it's frustrating. I'm eating better and exercising and all that crap, but nothing seems to be happening. BEING ANONYMOUS I am enjoying being anonymous on here. I haven't even told anyone my real name, not that it would really matter. In the beginning, I didn't even want to say where I lived, but I did that eventually(That's Denton, TX.) I haven't even told my boyfriend that I'm on here, which is odd for me. But I mean, it's a diary, I'm not going to tell him where it is. I know if he saw this, he'd automatically know it's me, but I really can't see why he ever would find it. So that's good. I'm starting to wonder why I've become so focused on the whole Psycho Boy thing lately. It happened four years ago! He has been out of my life, for the most part, for four years. And I'm still looking through old diaries and poems and upsetting myself all over again. That doesn't seem to be healthy. I think it's because the summer, and alot of bad stuff with us happened in the summer, but that shouldn't explain it. Maybe I haven't had closure yet or something. Whatever. Tonight my boyfriend and I had dinner with some of his older friends. Older, as in 40ish. He does this every Wednesday. The topics of tonight were highway construction, high blood pressure, and mortgages. Highly fascinating stuff, let me tell you. Althought I am excited about the new highway that is opening next Tuesday. It always takes no shorter than 45 minutes to get to my boyfriend's house, this highway will cut that time into about 30 minutes. That makes me all tingly inside. I would like to obsess a bit over Perceptions. Over 1,000 people have him as a favorite, and I just think that's amazing. It's amazing because we can all come together and agree that this one guy is so great, so talented, and so right about everything. It's rare that so many people can say that. I wrote him an email but I guess he gets a million a day, so he hasn't answered or what not. Maybe he didn't answer because I said I wanted him to bear my children. Is that a little stalkerish? The 17 year old diary entry of the day is from February 17, 1997. Please, enjoy. It's kinda long, so read at your leisure. __________________________________________ Okay, so Bi Ex Boyfriend called me last night and of course Psycho Boy got mad. I haven't talked to the bastard in 2 years, and he is gay. (Yes, gay.) And Psycho Boy gets mad. We fought for hours about it, we break up(our breaking up is different from other people's), get back together, and other assorted things. Now Bi Ex Boyfriend hates me, and Psycho Boy told me to choose between talking to Bi Ex Boyfriend or going out with Psycho Boy. Damnit, Psycho Boy is a fucking bastard. I haven't fucking talked to Bi Ex Boyfriend in 2 fucking years (Editorial note: I never talked to him again after that. This is one of the things I regret the most about the whole Psycho Boy thing.)! OOOH! HE MAKES ME SO FUCKING MAD! I love him. Why, sometimes I wonder that myself. Anyway, today I have the day off from school. A perfect opportunity to be screwing my brains out with Psycho Boy, but my fucking period decides to show up. We were planning on doing the handcuff thing and fucking in every room of the house. Well, not anymore. He could still come over so I could be with him, but I don't think he can because he is working. I have been looking forward to this for like 2 weeks and now he probably can't even come over. The next opportunity we have will be spring break, next month. I can't even take the birth control pills for a month, because of my knee surgery on the 27th. On Friday, we went to see Star Wars. We didn't see it. Before the movie started, I was on his lap, and it was cool. I was nervous, even though it's the 14th time I've seen him. When he touches me, I just get this feeling that I can't explain. I get it ever time I see him. It's a nice feeling. But anyway, we kissed and stuff and he touched me and I got that feeling. The movie started. (Blah blah blah, lots of slightly pornographic stuff here, the best sex I ever had, blah blah). It was so crazy. God, I love him. But why? Why do I let him do this to me? Is it for the sex? Am I using him for sex? I don't know. I don't think so. I hope not. I used to go out with Best Friend and do fun things. But now I just wait for Psycho Boy to call. I'm even afraid to call Bi Ex Boyfriend because Psycho Boy would be so mad at me. Damnit, what has my life turned into? I could call Bi Ex Boyfriend right now. But I know that Psycho Boy will ask me if I talked to him. I can't lie. I've lied so muc lately and I don't even know why. I don't want to start anything. _______________________________________ If you've read this far, thank you. Give me some feedback if you like this or hate it, either in the guestbook or through email, [email protected]. 11:08 p.m. - 2001-07-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||