mymichele's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keys, Rivers, and anonymity. Against my better judgement, yesterday, while we were discussing my old screen name that I had for 6 years, I told BB my new name. (That would be MyMichele.) I even spelled it out for him. The next step would be telling him about this diary, or him figuring it out on his own. I don't think he would, and really, if he did, it's no big deal. It's not like he hasn't heard or seen most of this shit before. When you've been with someone for 4 years, you get to know them a little. I just couldn't keep it from him anymore, and I wanted him to know. I enjoy being anonymous here, but now I'm really not, so it doesn't really matter anymore. Also, yesterday we discussed my obsession with locking things. He accused me of having minor OCD with this stuff, and now I've kinda been thinking about that. When I lived in my apartment, I couldn't sleep until I knew my door was locked. My car is one that you can lock from the inside before you get out, unlike the car I had before that, and I panic once I close the door until I know that I have my keys in my hand. And my keys are just something else altogether. If I don't know where my keys are at all times, I will freak out. I don't lose them very much because I don't allow them the opportunity. I don't know. This may stem from growing up in Dallas, and not being able to just keep the door unlocked and everything. It might stem from the fact that I forgot to lock my car on two seperate occasions and on two seperate occasions my wallet and my phone were stolen. That makes sense, doesn't it? So I hung out with my dad today. We had dinner with my kinda aunt and my uncle and his almost son. Kinda aunt, as in the person who has been in our family since I was born and who we all address like she's our aunt but is actually 80 years old and would have to be 30 years older than one of her siblings if she was an actual aunt. And almost son because my uncle is about to marry his almost son's mom, but his mom is in the hospital dying from 13 kinds of cancer, so that's hard right now. Tonight just sucked. My dad was really obnoxious. He didn't like the clothes I wore, he didn't like the magazines I read, he didn't like the mess I made or the shows on TV I was watching or the amount of time I spent online. He smacked me "playfully" on the knee and the back, and it fuckin hurt. I had a margarita, and it made my stomach hurt. And then I went to the hospital to visit my almost-aunt. My uncle said she was doing well this week, she could smile and be happy and all she could talk about was the wedding they'd have at the hospital, so I asked if I could go with them to see her. So we went, and it was a little shocking. She wasn't having one of her "good days" and barely recognized me. I haven't seen her in 6 months. I know, that's sad. She really is the most spirited person I've ever met. She and my uncle have been dating for like 8 years, and it used to make me angry that he's waited until she's about to die to ask her to marry him and adopt her son. Why couldn't he have done that before she got sick? But I saw him with her tonight, talking to her and making sure she had everything she needed, talking to the nurses, just really living for her, I changed my mind. Sometimes it takes hard lessons to really understand what's important to us. I'm going back to my dorm tommorow, and the fun summer time will be over. I will now presumably have suitemates, so if someone is in the bathroom, I can't just pee whenever I want. I can't leave my underwear in there. No fun! I called my room at about 9:30 tonight to see if anyone was there, and no one answered, so I don't think I have my roommate yet. I am seriously going to do some bitching and moaning to the front desk tommorow about this old people roommate situation. It's not cool. They're about to talk about River Phoenix on Entertainment tonight. How I loved me some River! They did a Behind the Music on INXS today. INXS was my first concert, in 1994. I stood in a place where I could look at Micheal Hutchence. I didn't care about the rest of them. I loved me some Micheal, too. (Hey, Pervert Girl, remember Dogs in Space?) Okay, I'm going to sleep now, really, uh huh. I love my puppy. Every time the doorbell rings on TV, he runs to the door and barks. Awww! He rocks your ass. 12:29 a.m. - 2001-08-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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