mymichele's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm going to Austin today! Yay! It'll be a good day. My brother is gay. No way! Ray. *burp* So, I got my bi-annual meeting with Old Friend over with in the past couple of days, which is honestly a relief. It's great to see her and shit, but it's also a bit of a pain in the ass. She just has that way about her.. she makes everyone feel really stupid unless they're at an equal level with her, which it seems that many of us are not. I asked the BL if she still thought Old Friend was a snot, and she said "Not only do I think she's still a snot, but she's ugly too!" *sigh* I think I managed to make the BL and Old Friend weird with each other since I told Old Friend all about what the BL thought of her when I was drunk off my ass. I'm not sure what compelled me to do that. But let's just say that I'm glad I'm not a usual drunkard, and that I only get drunk with my family or friends around, because it's just an.. interesting feeling. People who get drunk all the time almost have my respect because it's such a strange feeling to have no control over yourself. But in other farm news, the 2 sets of parents seem to be getting along quite well with each other. My mom and the BL get along really well, and my dad and my stepdad seem to be able to crack each other up. I was a little worried about it, but they all seem really happy with each other. That's fun times. My stepdad, who is like.. almost 70 years old, even got a long with the BL's 3 year old son. It was so cute. Anyway! ***** My dad told me when I got to the farm yesterday that I was probably wondering what my graduation present would be. I was like, "Ohhh, no really," but of course I was, and he knew it. So eventually he told me. It is a substantial amount of money. Like, a huge amount of money. Like, I won't have to worry about money for a couple of months, and he even gave me money for rent for my apartment in Austin for like.. 6 months. So I'm all set, it would seem. It also ensures that I could take a trip if I wanted to, but I don't think I will. It's not the time for that. It makes me sad that BB isn't going to be here to use it with me. If we went on that road trip like we originally planned (well, he's still going, bastard) we could really have a whole lot of fun with that money. We could have gambling fun in Vegas and all kinds of shit. I'm trying not to think about all the serious kinds of fun we could have had. He dumped me. That's all. I have to forget about sharing in these experiences with him, because I'm pretty sure we'll never have experiences like that again. But it's almost liberating, as well. I have all this money, big things are happening, and he's not sharing them with me. I'm doing it on my own. That's kind of exciting, really. I've always thought that I needed him around. I always let him make my decisions for me, and now I'm making them on my own. It's a nice feeling. But I still miss him. ***** Speaking of missing him.. yesterday was just really weird. My equilibrium was off the entire day. Like when I went to Einstien's, I asked them to "heat" my bagel instead of "toast" it. So he kinda looked at me like I was on crack and then took the bagel to the microwave and I was like, "No! I mean heat it!" But yeah. It got to the point where, when I was driving to the farm, a song by Dvorak came on. I was listening to the classical station because that and the new dance/techno station are the only ones I can listen to without wanting to cry the whole time. But Dvorak.. whatever song was on made me cry like a baby. It was just such a depressing song, which is weird because there's no words and shit, but seriously. I cried for a good solid 10 minutes during that song. I am a mess. But I'm getting better. Yesterday was the first day in a week or two where I didn't talk to BB. That's a big thing. I didn't message him and say "HEY! I have tons of money!" or something like that. Bah. Being single sucks. ***** I'm going to Austin for a few days today. I hope to find a place to live, perhaps interview for a job my brother is trying to get me, and do lots of Christmas shopping. I'm excited about it.. it'll be a little preview of what's to come. I found this statement in my diary from a survey I did in July. "14) If you could live anywhere, where would it be? Right now it's a toss up between Austin and Las Vegas. The only way I'd move from out of the Dallas area is if me and BB broke up, and believe me, once I graduate and if we break up, I would seriously consider getting the hell out of here. I'd move to Austin. I really love Austin. But anyway. It's just nice to know I'm fulfilling a dream, ya know? ***** I'll have pictures up later for your perusal. I know you're excited. 8:14 a.m. - Monday, Dec. 16, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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