mymichele's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Buh. So I feel like I've had a pretty good week. I really feel like taking this math class has been a good learning experience. I know that I'm not totally hopeless, I just need to WORK on it. I don't like working on it, but I really love getting good grades. Getting an 87 on that test was so satisfying. I still need to work on resisting temptation. When did I get so weak? When did I tell Taco Cabana that is has control over me? When did I suddenly tell myself, "you know what, it's okay. Go ahead and get fat and look slovenly everyday cuz no one will care." Well, people do care. I know Mr. Michele says that he doesn't care, but I also know he wouldn't exactly mind if I lost 30 pounds and looked the same as I did when we first got together.
I was so cute when I was 15. I didn't have any self esteem so I didn't really know that I was cute, but I was. I want so badly to lose weight, I really do. There's just some kind of circuit in me that won't let me. The part of my brain that says, "Another cheeseburger won't hurt. Another hour of being online is okay, you can study in the morning. You don't have to exercise today, you have the whole summer to do that." I've started talking to an old friend again. She's really successful now and I'm kinda jealous. But not really. I'm tired of being jealous of her. When we were friends in junior high, I was the smart one and she was the pretty one. She'd bring a guy to her house, I'd meet him and try to impress him with my fast knowledge of whatever he was into, but then she'd come in and be all beautiful and shit and being smart wouldn't matter. I think I'll shut up now. Have a nice weekend, diaryland.
10:18 p.m. - 2001-06-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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