mymichele's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I think I see your orange robot! Hello, yet again. I am just pulling entries out of my ass these days, aren't I? I just wanted to record my feelings at this moment, though, because they are good feelings. I am happy tonight. It might be because of the $150 shoes I just bought, but I think it's just because I think the worst of the BB thing is over. It's been 2 months, I'm almost out of here, it's getting alot better. This weird crush I appear to be having on Dorkus Boy is really quite helpful, too. I actually managed to sit through "Landslide" on the radio today, instead of turning it off in disgust, and/or crying like a baby. That, to me, is a big sign that I'm gonna make it through this okay. Also, I heard Don't Cry on the radio. I NEVER hear that song on the radio! I almost had a heart attack/orgasm when I heard that! Oh my goodness. I am also happy because I got to do a lot of shopping today, and then I get to come here, eat my Eatzi's and watch Bridget Jones' Diary. I know all this freedom I have will end eventually, probably in the next month or so. I'll have a job and new friends and obligations, but for now, the moments I have to myself are just really nice. I can think about moving on, rebuilding my life, making an effort to become the person I put off being for 5 years so I could play house with a guy that wasn't interested in doing it for real. I can feel myself starting to be less bitter. The bitterness is slowly seeping out. It does have a lot to do with this Dorkus Boy thing, but I think it's just because I'm ready. I'm tired of turning off the radio because a song that we used to both like was on. I'm tired of almost getting in an accident on the highway because I'm either staring at every red Dodge Ram that goes by or trying not to look at the exit I take to his house. It sucks feeling the way I've felt for 2 months, and I'm just ready to stop feeling that way, damnit. I know I sound all empowered and shiznit. Hopefully I can keep it up, because I seriously can't stand feeling depressed anymore. Anyway, have good times. 8:07 p.m. - Sunday, Dec. 22, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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