mymichele's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I lost my virginity today! Well, 5 1/2 years ago. I feel compelled to share something with you. It's probably a whole lot more than you want to know, but it's just really stupid, and so shush and read. I don't think I've changed much since I've started this diary, but I was reading my diary from when I was 17 and I am happy to report that there has been a lot of change. In good ways. What I'd like to share with you right now is an entry from January 20th, 1997. Bill Clinton's inaugeration day, if you will. And also the day I lost my virginity. This entry is so frigteningly stupid, I just want to laugh. In fact, I will laugh! MUAHAHA! This is actually 2 entries. One on the day we did it, another on the next day. January 20th, 1997 - Something important happened today. A turning point my life, actually. It was pretty fucking cool. Today I had sex. Some things to know about sex: 1. It hurts like a bitch when you do it for the first time 2. It hurts less the 2nd time 3. You bleed 4. It feels good. 5. Yep. Yes, I had sex. The one thing that had seperated me from Ali-Kat. The 1 thing that me and Old Friend spent hours talking about, what I have been dreaming of for 4 years. I did it. With the person that I love more in this world, Psycho Boy. But I don't regret it. I don't love him any less. Or more. I thought I would feel all attached and obsessed, but not really. (Nope, that comes later.) I don't really feel any differently about the relationship except for that fact that it's stronger now and it will be a hell of a lot harder to break up. (And then blah blah blah, details you really don't want to know.) January 21st, 1997 Well I've gone and done a bad thing. We didn't use any birth control and all day I have hearing about pregnancy. I don't think I am because we stopped before he came, but now I'm hearing about this preejaculation thing. I didn't know about that.. and I haven't had my period since September, so how can I get pregnant? I need to ask a doctor about this or something. I'm not really scared because I don't think we did it long enough for me to be pregnant, and even if I am, we can handle it. Now my faith in our relationship. Friend Girl could go sit on Psycho Boy's face and I wouldn't get jealous. I feel like we can get through anything now. Almost everyone I know regrets having sex, but I don't, even though the circumstances could have been better, and it could have been more thought out. *Cringe* Oh lordy.. that is so sad. How was I ever so freakin stupid? Let that be a message to you, kids - just don't have sex. Ever. Please. Thank you. 11:47 p.m. - July 31, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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