mymichele's Diaryland Diary
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Really, I'm not bitter. Okay, I am.
So, my brother talked me out of the whole Angel Boy thing. Butt nugget.
When I look at it, it does seem a little preposterous. Well, a lot preposterous. (That's my new favorite word, by the way. I hope I'm spelling it right!) Call my ex boyfriend that I haven't talked to in a year, that I haven't seen in three years, and talk him into having sex with me. Yeah, that's pretty dorkariffic.
I think it's time I put this whole Angel Boy thing to rest. Maybe we were soul mates at some point, but not anymore. Something big would have to happen to prove that I'm wrong about this, and I don't think that's going to happen. But really, if I want to move on with my life, hanging on to this weird Angel Boy thing is just going to hold me back. It's nice to have someone there that you think will always be there for you, but he's really not, ya know?
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Last night, I bought the new Saliva CD. I've decided Saliva, with their stupid dumbass name and everything, will get me through this break-up. "I love you, I hate you, I can't live without you, I breath you, I taste you, I can't live without you..." Yeah, I'm feeling that. They're in Austin on Dec. 8th, but that's the day before my finals start, so I probably shouldn't pursue that. But they rock. Yay Saliva! Good times.
Not the most attractive group of people, but they'll do.
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Maggie's dad ate my cookie! How mean.
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I haven't spoken to BB since the "Lator Tator" incident. Thanks to all of you who were as horrified as I was. I mean, it was such a simple phrase, such an easy way of saying good bye for him, but to me it was huge. It was like he was saying goodbye to some chick he's been talking to for a week or two or something, not someone he's had an intimate relationship with for the past 5 years. That's just not right.
I'm not sure what I'm feeling about the whole thing now. I'm not mopey and depressed. I'm not even that angry. I guess apathetic is a good word for it at this point. I think the whole Angel Boy thing was just going to be a weird form of revenge, which is just a bad idea. I had a whole bunch of ways to justify it, but you can't really justify that shiznit. *shakes head* it just sucks.
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I can't wait until I'm in Austin for a few months and I've had time to adjust to the lifestyle, and that's when he decides to talk to me or come visit me, and he'll see that I'm better off without him and it'll make him sad that he ever thought he needed time to himself. That's horrible way of thinking, but I seem to be convinced it's going to happen that way. He's so blase about things right now, going to football games and then coming back and telling me every detail like I actually give a shit. Someday he's actually going to have to thing about what happened and how I'm not going to be there to go secret shopping with him. I'm not going to be there to cook the taco meat just the way he likes it or to buy the tomatoes that he likes or to know his exact order at Subway or whatever, and someday he'll get his head out of his ass and realize that. I just hope that I'll have my shit together by then and realize that he's not what I really need in my life.
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As Chandler would say.. "Could I be ANY MORE BITTER?"
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Sigh.. I just need to get out of here. There's only a few weeks left of school, and then I can get out of my holding pattern and that will be good. Very, very good. This stupid college town did grow on me after a few years, but not enough to keep me here a single minute after my last exam is over. Bye bye, Denton, it was nice knowing ya but I'm outta here! Muahaha.
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*burp*
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Seriously, what is it with stupid guys this month? All these people I'm talking to (you know who you are) are all having horrible guy issues. Is it because it's the end of the year and you're doing an inventory or something? I mean, come on. Spare us all this bullshit, we don't have time to deal with your stupid and inept boy-ness. They're just clueless. Stupid, clueless, and dumb.
Okay, I'm finished with my boy rant now. Seriously. I swear. I'm just.. angry. But you could probably figure that out on your own.
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What was MyMichele doing a year ago?
"I'm feeling all Thanksgivingish today, but not really. I kinda wish I had a house to go home to, where I haven't seen all my friends in months and my parents are happy to see me and have kept my room exactly the way it was before I left to go so far away for college. But, hark. All my friends are here, and now that my mom married a professor from another college in my city, she lives 5 minutes away. I saw her three days ago. I don't know. I don't think I'll ever really be happy with what I have."
11:03 a.m. - Thursday, Nov. 21, 2002
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