mymichele's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lots of stuff on my mind, damnit. I'm having trouble sleeping. It's 6 am and this is the third time I've woken up, and it sucks and I just wanna sleep! I guess maybe if I put my thoughts down here, it'll help. Maybe. I dunno. 1. There's a moth flying around my room. That doesn't really distract me but it's like sitting on my computer and such. 2. I have to write three stories tomorrow, and one of the main chicks I need to interview is MIA. Thats not good. I don't know why I'm losing sleep over it, though. It's not that big of a deal.. she said she's be there tomorrow so I can call her, but I dunno. 2. BB is mad because I got a 60 on my psychology test. He takes my bad grades harder than I do. He's coming up with an "asshole plan", which involves making a study plan type of thing for me, and if I don't do it by Friday, I won't get to see him. I know that sounds dictatorish, but sometimes I need that kick in the ass to make me get up and do it. 3. The new summer and fall schedules came out (I know, it's all very exciting) and two classes that I need are only offered MWF. That really, really, really sucks. It's okay that I'm taking MWF classes now, but I hate taking them in the fall. And one is only offered at 9 AM! 9 AM, three times a week. I don't know if I can deal with that, really, I don't. 4. I'm starting to figure out why BB has been in college for 6 years. I don't want to leave. I don't want to go out in the real world. How do vacations work in the real world? Can I even take Christmas off? How will I go to Las Vegas for New Years? This all scares me to death. I graduate in December and after that, all bets are off. No more health insurance from my dad.. I gotta go get my own somewhere. I guess I'm just a spoiled brat. I know I am. But this really scares me. 5. I brought up an Austin internship to BB and he was like, "I think you just want to leave me." I hate that. I wish he'd be more supportive and understanding. I think I'd benefit alot from going to Austin. My brother cooks good stuff, so I'd probably lose weight. He already said I could come live with him, he's actually really supportive of the idea. I could go to Austin Community College for school or something. I would go to UT but I'm kinda scared of the place. It's expensive and yeh.. scary. Also, it would affect many people. It would affect BB, who would miss me, I guess. It would affect my dad, who'd have to pay for some of it. It would affect Jeep Girl, because I said she could come live with me during the summer and she's really excited about that. It would affect my brother, because I'd be living with him. It would affect my puppy dog, because either A. I'd take him with me, or B. I wouldn't be able to see him very much. I could probably go home every other weekend or something. This is just a thought in my mind. I know it probably won't happen unless a miracle happens, but thats okay. Really. It is. I'm just scared of so many things.. I don't want to graduate. So many good things have happened during college. I've gotten to go on so many different road trips, but how can I do that in "the real world?!" We don't get spring breaks or summer or winter breaks. Gahh. This is no fun. And also, if I get an internship during the summer and I stay here, I couldn't do said internship until 2 pm because I would have French until then. That probably isn't a good thing, I imagine. My head hurts. I'm gonna go pee and then try to sleep again. I think I screwed myself over by taking a 3 hour nap at 6 pm, waking up at 9, and then going back to bed at 12. Maybe that wasn't such a great idea. 6:03 a.m. - February 20, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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