mymichele's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A whole lot of spewage about college, friends, and the Osbournes Okay, so I'm a liar. Deal with it. I am once again feeling the love, so I have graced you with my presence for the day. Don't say I never gave you any favors. I'm kidding. Really. On Monday, I decided I was going on a diet. I guess that's why last night, at 10:15, I risked tornado-like winds and brilliant lightening to go out and get me a meximelt at Taco Bell. It's funny. I can assure myself that I am going on a diet, and then while I'm eating McDonalds, I can assure myself that this is all part of the diet somehow, and it's okay that I'm eating it because I'm just going to work out later. I am such a weirdo. I am proud to report that I am forever finished with college psychology classes. No more Freud. No more talk about groupthink and deindividuation and group polarization. No more learning about that poor Kitty Genovese who got raped and murdered outside her apartment building while 35 people heard her pleas but did nothing about it. (I swear, I learned about her in every single one of my psych classes, plus the sociology class I took in high school and the sociology class I took in college. I really feel sorry for that chick.) Anyway, I'm minoring in psychology, and I doubt the 6 classes I've taken will ever be worth a damn. But hey, I've learned enough about health psychology, sexual psychology, group psychology, general psychology, and abmornal psychology to last a lifetime. Man, I had myself a TV fest on Tuesday night. I was studying for my test and watching the Real World and the Osbournes and Friends and laughing my ass off. I almost felt like I was letting TV affect me way too much. But it was the last episode of the Osbourne's! It was fucking hilarious.. I laughed the whole entire time. And the Real World was the episode where it was Sep. 11. That made me cry the whole entire time. People just have to mention Sep. 11 and I will get tears in my eyes. My brother is in New York City right now and he said he was going to look at the crater and that almost made me cry. And that almost makes me feel guilty because I didn't personally know anyone involved in any of the attacks, but I mean.. it happened to all of us, right? I have the right to feel angry and sad about it. Man, I have some serious guilt issues. And then I turned off the TV and listened to Loveline and laughed at that all night. See, when your main source of entertainment, my computer as it were, no longer is there to entertain you, you must find other means of entertainment. For me, that has been: 1. Writing dirty stories (which you will soon see the outcome of) 2. Actually studying for tests (imagine that!) 3. Watching a lot of TV 4. Listening to a lot of Guns N Roses. Listening to that live CD has almost become a spiritual experience. I was pissed at my suitemate this morning because she's just a loud, obnoxious bitch who has other loud, obnoxious bitches over to her place, therefore keeping me up at night and sometimes waking me up early in the morning. So of course I played Welcome to the Jungle quite loud, but I felt guilty, so I turned it down after a few minutes. But like, "Patience." The live version of that is incredible. And as Michelle knows, I go crazy with his ability to make words like "bright" 3 syllables. But I take pride in knowing that I'm not the only one.. on the cd, when he sings, "And the lights, they shine so briggigghtightt," the crowd goes CRAZY. They scream and clap and they love it! *Sigh* I saw Axl live, once. There he was, right in front of my very eyes. I will never be able to explain to you guys the feeling I got at the start of the concert, when the band started playing "Welcome to the Jungle" and then there he was, on the stage, in his full, magnificent glory. My hopes and dreams, in the flesh, right in front of me. My lord. I will shut up now. Last night I watched a little of Blown Away. I used to LOVE LOVE that movie. I was like, really obsessed with it. I've said this before but shut up.. I used to answer my phone after seeing this movie by saying "Boston Bomb Squad!" I even had the shirt that said Bomb Squad on it. I wanted to be on the bomb squad. I wanted to detonate bombs for a living. I have no idea why I loved this movie so much, but I did. So I watched it, and I was kinda uncomfortable through the whole thing. I turned it off in the middle because I just didn't want to watch it when all the bombs started going off and killing people. I guess I'm old or something. Or maybe it's just the realization that bombs do kill people and movies that show that really aren't real and can't capture the feelings that really happen. I'm a dork. I used to love Tommy Lee Jones, too. Mostly in The Fugitive, where he was all good and saying stuff like "Search all the houses and outhouses and greenhouses" or whatever. I haven't had any Axl-related dreams in the past two days, but I keep having other weird dreams. Last night it was about the newspaper people. I dunno. I am discovering something. The past four days have really been spent in seclusion. The only person I've talked to is my mom on the phone. My friends aren't calling me and I haven't had the communication of going to work everyday and talking to people there and doing interviews everyday and stuff. I kinda like it, but I feel guilty about liking it. I feel like I'm abandoning my friends, or like I abandoned them a long time ago and now I'm feeling the fruits of that labor. I feel bad about that, but I enjoy being by myself. I can do whatever the hell I want when I'm by myself and I kinda like that. I know that that's a cop out, though. I know that I should take advantage of the resource known as friends, but it's just hard for me to call them sometimes. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because they know that I'm selfish and only hang out with them when I need them. I have totally missed what college is about, and I only have 6 months left of it. But I keep telling myself that I shouldn't look at it that way. We all spend college in different ways, and whatever way we choose isn't wrong, it's just different. I have always done things a little differently, I shouldn't expect things to change now, or any other time. Does all this spewage make sense? My lord I talk a lot when I miss one day. I need to study for my last test now. Please, have a lovely day. 10:43 a.m. - May 09, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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