mymichele's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dissapointing meetings with old friends, headaches, and mommy. Google searches in the past 24 hours: 1. "Robin Finck" and "girlfriend" 2. Turkish flag buddy icon 3. haim, corey 2002 4. mom caught me fucking 5. "first orgasm" 6. Thriller - Micheal Jackson 7. Calgary to Las Vegas road trip (I wanna go!) 8. Diaryland "went down on" 9. "Went to a party on a Saturday night" Gotta love Google. So, I saw Old Friend today. Nothing like seeing an old friend to make you feel like a big steaming pile of shit, right? Well, it started early in the day. We went to Northpark and she went on and on about how she used to go to nude beaches in Spain and how she and her friend are sooo excited about going to the Britney Spears concert and she's so excited to going to graduate school in New York. She just has this way of making me feel like I've chosen the wrong path. Like, "Have you started looking at Graduate schools yet?" Umm, no. I'm not looking at graduate schools right now. "Oh." Like, disapproval. Or something. And I confided this to her later in the day, and I actually cried, and there really wasn't much she had to say about that. But I just have to keep telling myself that we all choose different paths, and just because she did it this way doesn't mean my way is wrong. We spent most of the day at my dad's girlfriend's house for a Memorial Day party thing. I thought we'd just go and be there for an hour, but an hour turned into 3 1/2 hours and after running around with a 2 year old and 2 puppy dogs, she just wanted to go home and go to sleep. So, yeah. I had an unpleasant time. Especially when I once again tried to explain me and BB's relationship to her. I just really need to keep my mouth shut. I know it doesn't make sense to other people, and I hate talking about it because it makes me feel like I'm an idiot. I just hate the way I feel like she's constantly making judgments about me. I'm happy with what I have. I want to lose weight and get better grades and eventually get a kick ass job, but for now I am happy. I didn't do what she did, I took my own road, and that's what I did whether I like it or not. I hate the way she makes me question my life. It's a good thing I only see her twice a year. We're just not on the same page anymore. When we were in the height of our friendship, she was pretty much the same way, but we had so much fun together I just overlooked it. Always judging me, always pointing out my little idiosyncrasies like she'd get a gold medal if she got all of them right. And she's so.. pretentious. She almost walked out of the Museum Company with this stupid Chinese calligraphy thing without paying for it. Now, I used to be the Queen of Shoplifting, but I got over it. When I was 14. And she was like, "I worked in retail, I know how easy it is to just walk away." Uh huh. That's nice. And she was talking about how she was trying to seduce her married French teacher "just because it was fun." Gahh. That girl drives me crazy. It's a lot more fun just to drink margaritas with Ali-Kat. Ali-Kat isn't judging me and she steals my Alanis Morisette shirt but at least she doesn't make me cry! Muah, Ali-Kat! As for BB, well, he missed me. I was supposed to spend the night at dad's girlfriend's house (let's call her the BL, for The British Lady, from now on, okay? Okay.) but he called me and he was like, "Do you wanna come spend the night?" So now I'm over here. With a headache, of course, but I'm here. I'm disappointed because I really had a lot of plans for Old Friend and me today, but it just didn't work out, and now I have to wait until December. That's probably a good thing, though. Here is a conversation my brother and I are having about my mom: Me: She's just happy when we're happy. Brother: She's the best person ever born on this planet. Brother: And the only reason I'm sane. Me: Dude, there's something like extra special about her.
Me: Every person I saw today asked me how she was. Brother: Yeah, what it is is that she's 100% genuine.. she really puts herself last Me: And I know I'm not going to be like that when I'm older. People just don't ask about me, but they'll always ask what she's up to. Brother: SOOOOOOOO unlike the rest of us. Me: Mommy. :) Brother: (us *our last name here*, who admittedly, are quite selfish) Brother: lol Me: But she isn't even *maiden name-y*. Brother: No, she's like Jesus incarnate Me: Cuz *grandmother* is neato, but she still isn't like that. Brother: Mommy Me: lol Me: that was giggly. 9:00 p.m. - May 27, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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