mymichele's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An open letter: Not that I'm bitter or anything An Open Letter to one Mr. W. Axl Rose - Dear Axl, I should probably thank you. I should probably thank you for the lesson I should have learned 11 years ago when I first listened to Use Your Illusion 1 and fell head over heels in love with you. What lesson is that? Don't fall in love with pricks who continue to screw over their fans because they are so self rightious that they couldn't possibly care about anyone else but themselves. I tried to be sympathetic. I mean, you were molested as a baby, I can understand how that might affect you in your life in general. But hey Axl? You're 40 fucking years old. Get a therapist. You're a millionaire. People don't tend to feel sorry for arrogant prick millionaires, especially when they just up and decide to cancel a whole tour for absolutely no reason. I have defended you for probably about 10 of the 11 years I've been in love with you. I would tell people, "Oh, he's going to have a HUGE comeback! He's going to dazzle the world! You just wait! No no no, he's not an aging 80's rock star, he's still fresh and new today, you just see!" I thought maybe the concert in Vegas was a fluke. I thought maybe since it was like the 6th concert you've ever played with the new band, you were just warming up. I was willing to accept the fact that the majority of the concert was songs that were popular 15 years ago. But now I just see you as some aging wanna be rockstar that doesn't have what it takes anymore. You refuse to put out a new album. You refuse to acknowledge most of your songs from the Use Your Illusion era. You refuse to believe that people will just forget that there was once 4 completely different people on stage with you, and people will never forget that. You notice that some of your shows are barely half full? That's why. No album. No people we recognize. Get over yourself. As a fan, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of making excuses, I'm tired of saying over and over "The MTV thing was just a fluke, he was just too excited and fucked up the beginning." I'm tired of telling everyone you're making a comeback. Because you know what? You're not. You just wanted to parade a bunch of freaks out there to impress us, and guess what? We aren't so impressed. So, Axl. Thank you again. You taught me that putting all my stock into one person, one cheap and full of himself celebrity, is useless. You taught me that I can never really rely on people, because they'll just end up dissapointing you in the long run. And most of all you taught me that when everything is said and done, the only thing that people really care about is themselves. Thank you for teaching me that. And fuck you. _______________________________________ An open letter to my fuck assiest Ex Boyfriend BB: If Axl taught me that the only thing people care about at the end of the day is themselves, you only perpetuated that. You have given up on us. You took 5 years worth of history, of good times and bad, of kisses and hugs and snuggles and laughter and tears and confusion and anger and happiness.. you took 5 years and just threw it all away. I don't even know why, but I think I'm starting to catch on. I got about 3 hours of sleep last night because of you. I know it's totally pathetic, but you went idle around 8:30 last night and you still haven't showed back up, 12 hours later. That seriously bothers me for one reason - you left during wrestling. You don't leave during wrestling. That's like.. sacred for you. So what was so important that you left? I can only think of one thing, and that's a chick. Of course, I could be wrong. But I don't know.. you leaving at 8:30 makes me think that this chick's force is so powerful you couldn't resist, and this is driving me crazy. I am losing sleep over it. I am driving myself crazy about it. I used to have so much faith in you. I used to idolize you. You are strong. You are smart. You made me feel safe in my world. You made me feel like I was exempt from all the rules. You made me feel like nothing could ever affect me as long as you were in my life. You made me think it was okay to abandon everything in my life but you, and then when you abandoned me, what do I still have left? We both know I'm barely graduating. We both know it's going to be hard for me to find a job because the only experience I have is 4 months of working at a college newspaper, when everyone else has had at least 1 internship. We both know that I am the laziest son of a bitch around, and we both know that was perpetuated by you. And now, you say you're "dreading" seeing me one last time because I'll be all "emotional." Well, excuse the fuck out of me for wanting to cry over the demise of a relationship I thought was going to last forever! Do you know how scared I am of my future right now? I am so fucking scared. I thought we were going to get married. I thought we were going to raise healthy children that would never in their whole lives have to call Loveline to complain about the fact they only get horny off furry animals because their dad left when they were 3 years old. And now I have to chance that. I have to go out, meet new people. I have to find someone that won't be anything like you. I have to find someone that will touch me, kiss me, love me, and it won't be you. That makes me want to fucking cry just thinking about it. I have to find someone else. I don't want to. I thought it was going to be you, I really did. I'm so scared. I'm so fucking vulnerable. I've lost you. I keep trying to talk to you and you have nothing to say. I can't stand this. If I really force myself to look at it, I know it probably wasn't the best thing for me anyway. You never loved me the way I was capable of loving you. You could never committ to me, it was too much for you. We have different ways of loving, and we just weren't compatible. I should have realized this before, and not 5 years after I threw myself into a relationship that was never going to work. I hope.. I don't know what I hope. I don't know whether I should love you or hate you right now. But that's the way it's always been, why should it change now? _____________________________________ An open letter to my 1:30 PM Statistics final: I better fucking pass you, asshole. You are the last fucking math test I will ever take for the rest of my life, do you realize that? So be nice to me. I'd appreciate that. ______________________________________ An open letter to one Mr. Marshall Mathers, AKA Eminem: Ohmygod. You are so extremely hot and talented and wonderful. Hallie's Song? Holy fuck, that song gives me chills everytime I hear it. I want to have a million babies with you. _______________________________________ An open letter to Blockbuster: Thank you for extending your rentals to one week. I appreciate that a lot. But even after being able to have them for a week, I still forget to return them in time. Can you please extend it to two weeks? Thank you. I appreciate your help in this matter. __________________________________________________ That's all. I'm not bitter or anything. ***** What was MyMichele doing a year ago? "I really have a craving for Sonic right now. A BLT and some mozzerella sticks. MMM, BLT. So it's finals week. All I can say is.. thank god this semester is over. I don't know why this semester sucked so horribly bad, but it did. And all I have to do now is study for my finals, which is fine with me. I don't really mind studying. Anything to make myself smarter, right! Urrmm anyway, I have to study for American Legal System, Sexual Psych, and Abnormal Psych. Sounds like good times, right?" "The editor of the school's newspaper called me today and left a message. "Hi, this is editor girl, I just want to say congratulations, you have the job. You're the new full time arts and entertainment writer." Hehe! Not only is this great experience, but it's also cash money! $360 a month, which isn't impressive, but it's more than the $0 I'm getting now in my "sitting around all day playing Scrabble and eating Mcdonalds" job." 10:25 a.m. - Tuesday, Dec. 10, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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