mymichele's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My mourning period is over. Seriously. If I have any advice for my D-land minions it would be this: When you invite your ex to have dinner with you, don't get drunk on 1 margarita and then spend an hour trying to convince him that cheating on his girlfriend with you would be a very good idea. Because most likely, he won't think it's a very good idea. Anyway. I did have dinner with BB last night, and you'd think after having my drunken Margarita dinner a few weeks ago, I'd be more careful with the booze. But, hence, I was not. I have to hand it to him, though. When he's comitted to something, he's really committed. I'm not bitter that I spent all but four months in an un-comitted relationship with him for 5 years, really, I'm not. But we had a good talk. If I've learned one thing over the past couple of months, it's that honesty is totally and completely the best way to go. I want to be honest with everyone these days. We had a really good discussion and it's clear that he really does care about me and miss me. Even if he wouldn't agree to have some good old fashioned monkey nookie with me. And I know its evil of me, but I do kinda take comfort in the fact that his new girlfriend isn't the nookie type. We both took pride in the fact that after 5 years, the nookie kept getting better and we'd still do it everytime we saw each other. But he's not getting any now. She's the daughter of a preacher, so umm... yeah. Muahahaha. Anyway. I'm ready for my mourning period to be over now. 2 months of mourning is enough for me, I think. I'm moving in 6 days, and a brand spanking new life is waiting for me over there. I can't wait. I am so excited to get this started, to find a job and friends and maybe new boys. I know I won't forget about BB, and that's okay. We're going to be friends. I'd rather be friends with him than not talk to him at all. He was my best friend for 5 years, after all. But Austin is going to be new things. I want to learn how to be independent. Like, my uncle had to show me how to wind my new watch the other day, and thats just uncool. I should know how to do that. I want to learn how to change my own tire and change my own oil and all kinds of crap like that. Like I said before, I used to look in the mirror and see not only myself, but BB right there in my shadow. I want to see myself in the mirror, not someone who lives half her life for someone else. I do wish I could come back after 7 months or 14 months or what not and have him waiting for me, but we'll see. Austin is not going to be about him, it's going to be about me. All about me, damnit. The BL needs her computer back (imagine that!) so I shall end this now. Just know that I'm finished moaning about life in general. From now on, it's gonna be positive and happy. Yay! Woohoo. ***** What was MyMichele doing a year ago? "Christmas was even a drag. After having the same kind of Christmas every year for 21 years and then doing it differently, it kinda sucks. My cousin actually stopped us right in the middle of opening presents and said, "Let's go one at a time so we can see everything everyone got!" Yes, let's go around the room of 15 people and open each gift individually! Fun times! My brother and I sat in the corner and made fun of everyone, because that's just what we do." 2:58 p.m. - Friday, Dec. 27, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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