mymichele's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Horsie dates, philosophical bullshitting, and yur mom. So we went to see The Sweetest Thing last night, and I want to be philosophical now. I'm learning, through movies and TV of course, that while I'm sitting here hating life sometimes and wondering if I should be something else and thinking that I've made the wrong choices, everyone else is too. Of course I'm not the only one who's ever felt this way,yes, I know that. But I think everyone feels that way. No one is truly happy because its so easy to dwell on the past and regrets and things we don't have. Everybody wants what we can't have, right? Nobody is ever completely happy with what they have, including people who have everything. The poor people will always want to be richer, the rich people will always want to be happier, the pretty people will always want true love, the ugly people will always want to be pretty. You know what I'm saying? Even if we do have what we want, it's not enough. It makes me feel better and it makes me want to kick my own ass to I can get over things. I'm always questioning myself, and instead of doing that, I should question other things, and I should move on with my life, out of the "Why didn't I do that/why can't I have this" stage of my life. Well, it made more sense in my head. I liked the movie. Cameron Diaz is so freakin beautiful! And her and Christina Applegate are like.. so hot! Gahhh... I want to be hot, damnit. I'm gonna see my puppy man today. Yay! I had another tornado dream last night. Why all these freakin tornado dreams? Maybe this one was because there has been actual tornados lately. But I think it may be about my unsatisfaction (dis?) with life in general and all the questions I keep asking myself. Because the dreams do occur more often when I get all philosophical and sad. Weird. You know I've been spelling weird the wrong way for like.. 22 years? I've been spelling it wierd forever. And that's just not the right way to spell it. I also did that with tommorow for a little while. Did I just spell that right? I just don't know. I am not looking forward to this week. At all. It's my "you've put it off for this long and now it can't be put off anymore" week. Which is never a fun week, but what can ya do. Things I need to do: 1. Check what I need to do about my speeding ticket, and do it soon. 2. Degree plan 3. Ask about taking 20 hours with dean 4. Work on all the crappy stories for the newspaper 5. Tomorrow, before class, copy Melinda Rice story. 6. Start working on questions for Chamer of Commerce and start calling on Thursday or Friday. 7. Call newspaper guy and ask for a picture. Also see if there's anyone else I can talk to. 8. Rewrite feature writing stories 9. Check on graduation or something. 10. Work on desk work project on Monday.. do it until it gets done. 11. Work on other project on Thursday and Friday. Man.. I don't want to graduate in December. I want to keep taking classes until I run out of classes to take or something. I am good at college. Not really.. I don't get very good grades or anything, but it's really a good concept. Live on campus, make friends, dress like a slob, sounds good to me. In a couple of months I'm going to have to start looking for a real job, I'm going to have to start looking for a new place to live, and I'm going to have to start asking myself some serious questions. I don't want to do that. I just want to be in college forever! Isn't that possible? Come on now. I must be going.. I have a horsie date today. 10:07 a.m. - April 21, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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