mymichele's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tiredhead again, such, etc. Today was hard. I just need to remember that someone believes I can do this. I was hired to do this fucking newspaper thing because someone looked at my application and saw something they liked. I am here because of that, and I need to live up to those expectations. My editor and I got into it today.. I had to leave the room crying, this girl that I've only known for 2 weeks had to hug me and take me out in the hall to get me to settle down. It wasn't pretty. I can do this. But I have to make the effort. Making an effort is something I've never learned how to do. On the few occasions I have made an effort, I surprised myself as to how good I could do things. I just have to figure out why I'm afraid to be happy. I know every single thing I have to do in order to make myself and others happy, yet I don't. It's so easy to sit here in this chair and type this online instead of go out there and get stories and lose weight and get good grades and make everyone happy. Someday I'll figure it out. Meanwhile, I'll talk to the lovely Sara about Justin Timberlake and Elton John. I have tiredhead. 10:21 p.m. - January 24, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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