mymichele's Diaryland Diary
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Musings about my obsessions and sign my guestbook before I cry!
If you loved me, you'd sign my guestbook. Even if you didn't love me, you would, because I know you rock like that.
Oohhh hello there, Senioritis! Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name!
I cannot function in school right now. I hate studying, I hate doing anything that remotely has anything to do with studying. Of course, I've had a similiar feeling throughout my 4 years of college, but now I'm just like blah.. get me out of here already!
Earth Science sucks. Do not take it. The lecture isn't so bad, but the lab sucks my ass hardcore. Longitude and latitude can just.. go.. kiss my ass or something! Hmmpphhh.
December 14th will be a glorius day, my friends. Oh so glorius.
I am still way too amused by this Axl quote..
"Well, it appears that we're gonna have an interesting evening.... You see, the city council and the promoters say we have to like end the show. And they'll say that I'm, they could say maybe I'm inciting a riot. Now I'm not, 'cause I don't want anyone to get arrested or anyone to get in trouble or anything like that. But I think we got a good seven or eight fuckin' songs left at least. And I didn't fuckin' come all the way over to fuckin' England to be told to go back fuckin home, by some fuckin' asshole! All I've got for the last eight years is shit after shit after shit in the fuckin' press and Axl's this, Axl's that. I'm here to play a fuckin' show and we wanna play! So, if you wanna stay, I wanna stay and we'll see what happens. Everybody... Nobody try to get in trouble or anything. Try to have a good time."
I think I find it so amusing because of the part in bold. It's just funny to hear him talk about himself like that, for some reason.
In the year and 2 months or so I've been here, I've had a few obsessions. There was Russell Crowe , Elton John, Math Boy, even a weird one with my own boyfriend. And I've questioned myself with every obsession.. "Am I going too far in this? Is this affecting my school work? Should I reevaluate my sanity here?"
And I think right now, with my weird Axl obsession, the answers to all those questions is YES. Unequivocally yes. I AM taking it too far. I DO need to reevaluate my sanity. Because like I said in my earlier entry today, I've fucking dream about the asshole every single night! ALL THE TIME! I'm getting tired of it!
Today, when I had two hours to study or do whatever between classes, did I go to the math lab to get help with my statistics? Did I study at all? Well, yes. I studied statistics for about 5 minutes, gave up, and went to the computer lab to look at pictures that I've already seen of him. There's really not any pictures that I haven't seen at this point.
It's a sickness. I have too many obsessions. It's like I'm not complete unless I'm obsessing over someone.
It's really annoying, and I'm getting tired of it, yet how do I stop an obsession that I've had for almost 11 years now? Guhhhh.
And it's not like I'm being fake about this. It's not like I just like him these days because I've liked him for so long that it's just not an option not to like him anymore. Does that make any sense? What I'm trying to say is that I still find him unbelievably attractive and I still love his voice and his weird dances and his weird temper and his outcastness and I'm just.. obsessed. With Axl Rose. Because he's hot and he has an awesome voice.
But seriously, at this point, I think I've lost the ability to really be objective. To me personally, his new songs (especially Madagascar, the new one he sang at the VMA's) are beautiful. I think he's still quite talented and quite good looking, but even if he wasn't, I don't think I'd be able to admit that to myself. I have a hard enough time admitting that the new GN'R will never be as big or as good as the old GN'R. In my heart, they already are, but yeah. Let's be serious here.
I mean, what can I really gain from this, anyway? I suppose there's a tiny chance that at some point in my life I will actually see him somewhere, probably before or after a concert, and there's a slight chance that I would have the nerve that I would go up and talk to him and maybe a tiny chance that he'd give me an autograph and a pose for a picture or something, but isn't that all I can reasonably ask for? What is the point of all this, damnit? I'm wasting my time with this! Bah!
NO MORE OBSESSION! MAKE IT STOP, DAMNIT!
PLEASSSEEE.. please sign my guestbook! I need love! I need comfort! I need companionship! And I need you to sign my friggin guestbook! Thank you.
Anyway. Here's a survey I stole.
//my name is: Elizabeth.
//i may seem: like I'm a total dumbass
//but i am: pretty intelligent yet incapable of proving this.
//people who know me think i am: bad at social skills but funny in a fat girl kind of way.
//if you knew me you'd probably think i'm: a social retard.
//sometimes i feel: like dumping BB and moving to Austin and/or Las Vegas.
//my days are pretty: filled with useless garbage.
//in the morning i feel: crap.
//in school i: never skipped until the day I got a car, and then I skipped all the freakin time. I didn't understand how I could skip when I didn't have a car.. I didn't live near school and like what was the alternative? Hanging out in the bathroom or something?
//i like to sleep: alot.
//if i could be doing anything right now i would: be doing something that had to do with Axl, I'm sure. And umm.. stuff.
//money is: something I need to be more in control of.
//one thing i wish i had is: self discipline.
//one thing i have that i wish i didn't is: a lot of regrets. And a HUGE stomach. I'm really getting tired of my friggin stomach!
//all you need is: Guns N Roses.
//all i need is: to use the potential that me and everyone else knows I have.
//if i had one wish it would be: to feel better about the choices I've made in life.
//when i look in the mirror i see: a skinny chick trapped in a fat chick's body.
//love is: never having to say you're sorry. Not really. It's a bunch of stuff.
//my body is: improving
//my mind is: empty.
//if an angel flew into my window at night I would: ask it when the hell I get to meet Axl Rose, damnit! And you know.. other things.
//if a demon flew into my window at night I would: probably scream and run out of my dorm half nekkid.
//something i want but i don't really need is: A long road trip, to meet Axl and be able to like.. touch him.
//something i need but i don't really want is: a job.
//i live for: music, movies, writing, BB, my mommy, and my puppy dog.
//i am afraid of: spiders and abandonment.
//it makes me angry that: I'm a dumbass.
//i dream about:Axl Rose. All the freakin time.
9:05 p.m. - September 09, 2002
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