mymichele's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Kelly Ripa only trusts Pantene. It really protects her hair. Aren't you excited? I don't really have anything at all interesting to say today. So here's a brief recap: 1. Right now, as I type this, there is a Guns N Roses concert about to happen. I know we're all excited about the fact that the tour starts now! YAYYY! Also, tickets for the Dallas concert are being given away this weekend. I'm going to win some, just you watch. 2. My suitemate really pissed me off today. She's a pig, and that's all I'll say about that. 3. I'm watching Friends and like.. I'm sure Freddie Prinze Jr. is a great nanny and everything, but Ross and Rachel fucking let the guy go change the baby's diaper the first time they met him! There's just something wrong with that. 4. I am horny. I want orgasms that I did not have to bring on myself. I told BB this, and he said he'd "let me know" if I should come over once he awakens from his nap. Hello? Free sex? Am I really going to be denied free sex? Such a shame. 5. Ohmygod I just laughed out loud at a commercial! LOL! The one with Charlie Sheen trying to rent a movie, and he doesn't bring his ID, and crap, and it takes so long that he turns into Martin Sheen! HEHEHE! It made me laugh, anyway. 6. 8 Mile comes out tomorrow! Yahhhh baby! I'm a little excited, if you can't tell. "You better lose yourself in the music, the moment, never ever let it go go! It's your one shot, do not miss your chance, don't blow.." or something. Kelly Ripa must die. Since this is such a give up entry, here's a bunch of quotes from the 7th of the month in past entries. I have way too much time on my hands. "I've been thinking about Ms. Cleo. She's stalking me. I see her commercials every time there's an opportunity for commercials to be on. She's also called me. And I've gotten emails. I mean, maybe she knows something I don't, and she's trying to get in touch with me! Should I call her? Is my life in danger? What?! I mean.. I wonder about her life. Is she married? Does she have psychic kids? Does she give her husband a kiss every morning and then heads off to the psychic phone place? I'm dying to know, really!" "Something that bothers me almost more than anything: when people go to the bathroom and pee all over the fucking seat. You know, it's okay if you kinda lost it before you got there, or if some of it escapes onto the toilet while you're splashing it all over the place (mainly applies to men), but for fuck's sake, people, wash the damn toilet off when you're finished! How hard is that! Because I see you when you walk out of the toilet, and then I walk in there and see urine all over the toilet, and I'm going to know you did it, and in my eyes, you'll always be the person who peed all over the seat. It's not a good thing, people." "So, when I was driving home from Dallas today, I thought to myself, "Hmmm, it's Sunday, what better day to buy some porn?" So I headed to the nearest place, 15 minutes from my school, to get some stuff." November 7th, 2001 (Hey, that was a year ago!) "Today, in my sexual psychology class, we watched a video on the history of the penis. They compared the penis to some of the biggest buildings ever erected (here's me laughing like Beavis and Butthead), like the Eiffel Tower and the CN Tower. It was quite good times, really." "I mean.. I was in Las Vegas for the first time for 24 hours! And only when I leave do I realize Guns N Roses had a concert at the hotel across the street from mine! What the hell is up with that! And now it's happening again, and I know about it, but I won't be there! Am I not destined to ever see Axl live? Is that what is supposed to happen? Because I'm not in favor of that at all, really." "There's all sorts of bad karma floating around today. I don't know what I did to deserve this karma, but good lord, if someone knows how to fix it, please tell me! Do I have to give $100 to a random homeless person? Tell me, and I'll do it. It started yesterday when my editor was talking about all the sick people at school. He said, "Is everybody sick in here?!" And I'm like, "I'm not! I'm perfectly okay!" And then yeah. Today I'm sick. Complete with itchy ears and stuffy nose and everything." "I've started taking birth control pills again, not for sex obviously, but to start getting my period. I don't get it unless I'm taking the pills because I'm such a freak of nature. I hate taking the pills because they make me emotional, and why should I have my period if I don't have to? But I guess that's bad cuz yeah.. someday it would be good to be able to give birth." "I think my obsession is petering out. I knew it was going to. I comissioned Phoebe to do a Russell Crowe-like layout for me, but now I don't want Axl to go away! That's not good. And I also still have Mystery Alaska, Gladiator, one of his CD's, and a Beautiful Mind poster coming in the mail. Maybe after I watch and listen to all that stuff I'll come back to my obsession, but I dunno. That'll teach me to take these things so seriously. " "If you don't hear from me for a while, look for some stalker activity down in the area of Malibu. That is where my stalking target, one Mr. W. Axl Rose aka William Bailey lives. And that is where I am going. Okay, not really. But for some reason, I am being inundated with Axl lately. I had another concert related dream last night, and this one had me waiting for not only hours, but days for his arrival. And somewhere in there a Golden Girls reunion took place. Yep, that's me folks. Axl Rose and the Golden Girls, that's whats on my mind." "Speaking of onions, I really love the smell of them. Peeling them, that's some good times right there. I think I have an onion fetish or something. I'm not yet to the point of being turned on by them, but it's getting there, oh yes." "So I got back to my dorm today to see that my blinds had pretty much fallen off the window. Not too happy about this event, I went down to the front desk and asked if someone could come sometime and fix the damn thing, and he was like, "sure, in a couple of days." Seeing that the last time something was wrong with my blinds, it took just oh.. 6 months for someone to fix it, I decided to listen to this young man's sage advice. Because, as the ancient Chinese proverb says, thoughs without blinds can be seen nekkid." "So last night I went to yet another high school football game, and I have come to a conclusion: high school girls of today are sluts. Pure and hardcore sluts. The clothes they are wearing these days is just.. appalling. They're all little Britney clones who want to lose their virginity when they're 12 years old! Okay, maybe that's not true, but good god! They're all trashy little sluts! And not even good looking sluts with all that nasty make up they're wearing. Geez louise!" "But anyway.. I'm then walking behind him, maybe 10 steps behind, and I'm thinking to myself, "HELLO! DUMBASS!" And I'm wondering why I don't sprint up to the guy, knock him down on the ground and yell "PLEASE HELP ME WITH STATISTICS, MATH BOY! I'LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING!" Nope. Didn't say that. Just stared at him from behind until he went in another direction." 7:25 p.m. - Thursday, Nov. 07, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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